Hashtag broken nails and tears and stuff.

No, I am not crying but hi MY BEAUTIFUL BLACK AS MY SOUL, SQUARED TO A PERFECT LENGTH NAIL JUST BROKE AND ALL I COULD THINK TO DO WAS MOPE TO TWITTER.  I sit here in my bed, (yes, I have gotten out of bed to eat, take my pill, and piddle - thank you very much) I couldn't write in just 140 words of why this one broken nail has me back onto my long lost blog to blab.

Now you're thinking I am crazy because I mentioned pills, pee and broken nails. Guys, it's cool and we all are a little crazy but let me explain to you why this is a pain in my cuss. 

Let's go back to December when my mom was like "OOLALA LEMME TREAT MY DAUGHTERS TO SOME PRETTY HOLIDAY NAILS" and I was like "HI OKAY MAYBE I WILL BE GHETTO AND GET SOME BIG GREEN ALMOND NAILS AND THEN THE KIDS AT WORK WILL TELL ME I LOOK LIKE A WITCH." Right? So naturally, EVER SO NATURALLY, that is what I did. 

Que regret, Ashley, my sister, calling me ratchet, and a deep desire to want to go bowling. 

I take my fanny to the nail salon to get these green monster suckers off, only then for these cute oriental ladies to convince me to just shorted them and do a different shape.

They know me so well and DAMN, my hands looked glamorous. 

This brings back to twenty minutes ago, when my sweet baby black bean nail broke. Joke is on me because I now have been sulking so much I made a blog post about a freaking nail. Am I being a cliche of a valley girl or am I being a cliche of a valley girl? Ew.

Lesson learned: never get nails done. Again. 

Unless, that is, I want another mediocre rant and excuse of a  blog post. 

CREEP IT REAL,

xxx

Sarah Ruth.

p.s.

I sometimes I reward myself when I handle something well. I have handled this nail thing all too dramatically, that all I know to do is reward myself. CELEBRATORY BOULDERING, ANYONE?